I'm starting to reading this fic and each word make me realize that I love this fic..
Everything getting tensed and serious and thrilling, almost at the of chapter 6, I realizing something : " how far I've gone? I'm checking and here I am, at the end of chapter six, oh, how long this story will be? 7 chapter? Really? Hermione even still in her coma. Then I realize I've done a gravely mistake. This is not a complete chapter.
So I'm asking you please please please UPDATE.
I know it's been more than a year since your last update... but please finishhh the story,,, it's been too consuming and I've been depressed enough because another author won't update their story... please don't, make my miserable never updated story getting any longer... update pleaseee.....
This chapter shocked me a bit, but I think that's what you were going for, right? There were a very few grammatical errors, but not too distracting. Are you going to finish this, or write more? Don't be discouraged, because you started a very dramatic story here and I would hate to see you stop.
Thank you for the reviews. I am going to finish the story once I remember where I left off at. I gave birth to my son, Divakar, and its been a handful. He is now 8 months old (9 months on the 15th of august) and I am sut starting to get my rythm back. Please bare with me on the updates. I am planning to finish both stories, or rather finish posting the letters and then write the story that goes with them. I also picked up my orignal peice I have been working on since 1999. Its slowly coming along but I am working on that one too. Once I get back into the full swing of things, I shoud be posting at least once a month, lol. It jsut depends on what my little man lets me do. Thank you for hte encouragement. I am glad you are enjoying the story. I will probably be going over the story again and seeing if I can fix the tense issue. Also, I am planning on posting this on fanfiction.net. I just hope it doesnt get pulled down.
I like the backstory. You do a good job at portraying Draco's feelings.
Wow, what? Intense, involved and very adult themes. Good start. I understand a bit of what Tyche was saying to you about tense. You wrote 'has' for 'had' a couple of times and 'are' when you should have wrote, 'were', but I have to tell you, I did the exact same thing when I started writing. I appreciated the person who pointed that out to me. And most of my stories have been edited quite a few times over, because my earlier works aren't up to the standard of my older works.
Thank being said, I really think this could be a detailed, great story!
xD very intresting
Very intrigued-- I really would love to hear more about this spell. :-)
This is an incredibly compelling story, very image heavy. I feel sorry for poor Harry, who has been trying to keep her secret for her! I'm looking forward to reading more.
A little con-crit for you: you seem to be having some trouble with tenses; you are sometimes using past and sometimes using present. You may wish to go through and straighten those out, as it can be confusing/awkward to flip back and forth.
If you dont mind can you tell me what part was past tense and current? i know i do the narative in past tense and the talking current...that is common with stories. I am not sure what part is confusing but i thank you for the critique anyways. This is the first story i am posting and am nervous about the reactions of others. so far you have been the only one to review the story and i am glad you are liking it. The spell will be talked aobut more in the next chapter, i have like 11 or so chapters written, jsut not typed yet. It is easier for me to write then to type it up. Any suggestions I will welcome with an open mind. I can use the help. Also, I am glad that you are liking the imagery. Most stories I have read dont go into much detail on what is going on around them. so the reader has to come up with it, and its harder that way.
I should have the next chapter up within a week, I jsut wish this website had a way to send updates to the readers like fanfiction.net does. Unfortunately, this is not a story i can post there; given the problems they are having with rating purposes. again, please let me know if you have any suggestions/comments about the story. Thank you for reviewing!
Wow--that was very powerful imagery! I hadn't stumbled across this story yet, only just now. I am definitely going to be going back to read the first couple of chapters!